Breaking the “Better Than” Barrier: How to Stop Sabotaging Your Success

As a society, we value success and achievement, often measuring ourselves against the accomplishments of others. We focus on being “better than” our peers and colleagues, using their success as a benchmark for our own worth and value. However, this constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and even resentment towards those around us. In this article, we will explore the negative impact of the “better than” mentality and offer strategies for breaking through the barrier and achieving success without self-sabotage.

The Negative Impact of the “Better Than” Mentality

When we focus on being “better than” others, we create a sense of competition and hierarchy that can ultimately lead to division and disconnection. This mentality can manifest in various forms, such as constant self-criticism, envy, and a need to prove our worth and value to others. While these behaviors may stem from a desire to improve ourselves or gain validation, they ultimately create a cycle of insecurity and self-doubt that can damage our relationships and prevent personal growth.

Furthermore, the “better than” mentality often relies on a flawed understanding of success and achievement. We measure ourselves against arbitrary standards and benchmarks, seeking external validation rather than focusing on our own values, passions, and interests. This can lead to a sense of emptiness and lack of purpose, as we strive to meet societal expectations rather than pursuing our own dreams and goals.

Strategies for Breaking through the “Better Than” Barrier

While the “better than” mentality may seem like a natural and inevitable part of our lives, there are strategies we can use to break through the barrier and achieve success without self-sabotage. These strategies involve cultivating self-awareness, shifting our mindset, and embracing self-compassion.

Cultivate Self-Awareness

Cultivating self-awareness involves developing a better understanding of our own values, goals, and passions. By focusing on what matters most to us, we can begin to shift our attention away from external benchmarks and toward our own personal growth and development.

One way to cultivate self-awareness is through journaling, meditation, or other reflective practices. By taking time to reflect on our thoughts and emotions, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and begin to identify patterns of comparison and insecurity.

Shift Our Mindset

Shifting our mindset involves changing the way we think about success and achievement. Instead of focusing on being “better than” others, we can embrace a growth mindset that focuses on personal progress and development.

One way to shift our mindset is by setting realistic and achievable goals for ourselves. By breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, we can build momentum and make consistent progress towards our objectives. We can also celebrate our own accomplishments and achievements, regardless of how they compare to others.

Embrace Self-Compassion

Embracing self-compassion involves accepting ourselves for who we are, flaws and all. It means treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a friend, rather than criticizing or judging ourselves harshly.

One way to embrace self-compassion is by practicing self-care activities, such as taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk in nature, or practicing a favorite hobby. By prioritizing our own needs and well-being, we can build a sense of self-worth that is not contingent on the opinions or accomplishments of others.


The “better than” mentality can be a source of insecurity, disconnection, and even self-sabotage. By cultivating self-awareness, shifting our mindset, and embracing self-compassion, we can break through the barrier and achieve success without self-sabotage. These strategies require a willingness to let go of societal expectations and pursue our own values and passions, but the rewards – greater self-confidence, deeper connections, and personal growth – are well worth the effort.


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