The Kindness Advantage: Why Compassion Trumps the “Better Than” Mentality

In today’s fast-paced and competitive world, it can be easy to fall into a mindset of thinking that we are better than others. We often measure success by comparing ourselves to those around us, leading to feelings of superiority and a lack of empathy. However, research shows that cultivating kindness and compassion can have a wide range of benefits for both individuals and society. In this article, we’ll explore the advantages of adopting a kinder, more compassionate mindset, and why it trumps the “better than” mentality.

The “Better Than” Mentality

The “better than” mentality is a belief that one is superior to others in some way. It can manifest in various forms, such as thinking that one is smarter, more successful, or more attractive than others. While this mindset may provide a temporary boost to self-esteem, it ultimately leads to feelings of separation and disconnection from others.

Moreover, the “better than” mentality can fuel competition and aggression, leading to conflicts and negativity. When people view themselves as superior, they may feel justified in belittling or undermining others, leading to division and discord.

The Benefits of Kindness and Compassion

By contrast, cultivating kindness and compassion can have a range of positive effects on individuals and society as a whole. Here are some advantages to consider:

1. Improved Social Connections

Kindness and compassion foster a sense of connection and empathy with others, improving social bonds and relationships. By practicing empathy and understanding, individuals are better able to relate to others, leading to greater harmony and cooperation in social settings.

2. Reduced Stress and Anxiety

Research has shown that acts of kindness and compassion can reduce levels of stress and anxiety. By focusing on others and contributing to their well-being, individuals are able to shift their perspective away from personal worries and concerns, leading to greater feelings of calm and relaxation.

3. Increased Resilience

Kindness and compassion can also increase resilience and coping abilities in difficult situations. By cultivating a positive outlook and focusing on the well-being of others, individuals are better able to manage stressors and overcome challenges that may arise.

4. Improved Physical Health

Studies have shown that practicing kindness and compassion can have physical health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure and reducing inflammation. The release of hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine can also lead to feelings of pleasure and well-being.

5. Increased Happiness and Well-Being

Ultimately, kindness and compassion can lead to increased levels of happiness and well-being. By focusing on the needs of others and contributing to the greater good, individuals are able to find meaning and purpose in their lives, leading to greater satisfaction and fulfillment.

Strategies for Cultivating Kindness and Compassion

While kindness and compassion may come naturally to some, they can be cultivated and practiced by anyone. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Practice Empathy

Try to put yourself in the shoes of others and imagine how they might be feeling in a given situation. This can help you better understand their perspective and respond with greater compassion and understanding.

2. Perform Acts of Kindness

Performing acts of kindness, no matter how small, can have a positive impact on both the recipient and the giver. Look for ways to contribute to the well-being of others, such as volunteering, helping a friend in need, or simply offering a kind word or gesture.

3. Meditate on Loving-Kindness

Loving-kindness meditation involves focusing on sending love and compassion to oneself and others. Practice this technique regularly to cultivate feelings of warmth and empathy towards yourself and those around you.

4. Practice Forgiveness

Letting go of grudges and practicing forgiveness can lead to greater empathy and understanding towards others. Try to release feelings of anger or resentment towards those who have wronged you, and focus on moving forward with openness and kindness.

5. Seek Out Positive Role Models

Surrounding yourself with positive role models who embody kindness and compassion can help reinforce these values in your own life. Seek out mentors or friends who exhibit empathy and understanding towards others, and learn from their example.


The “better than” mentality may provide a temporary boost to self-esteem, but ultimately leads to feelings of separation and negativity. By cultivating kindness and compassion, individuals can experience a range of benefits such as improved social connections, reduced stress and anxiety, increased resilience, improved physical health, and increased happiness and well-being. Consider implementing strategies such as practicing empathy, performing acts of kindness, meditating on loving-kindness, practicing forgiveness, and seeking out positive role models to cultivate a kinder, more compassionate mindset. Remember, we are all in this together, and by practicing kindness and empathy towards ourselves and others, we can make the world a better place for all.


Related Posts

Here are 10 relevant authoritative citations to support the benefits of cultivating kindness and compassion:

  1. Hutcherson, C. A., Seppala, E. M., & Gross, J. J. (2008). Loving-kindness meditation increases social connectedness. Emotion, 8(5), 720–724.
  2. Pressman, S. D., Decaro, J. A., & Gallagher, M. W. (2014). Compassionate goals and prosocial behaviors: A framework for understanding motives for giving. Current Opinion in Psychology, 1, 61–66.
  3. Poulin, M. J., Brown, S. L., Dillard, A. J., Smith, D. M., & Wang, J. (2013). Giving to others and the association between stress and mortality. American Journal of Public Health, 103(9), 1649–1655.
  4. Cameron, C. D., & Payne, B. K. (2011). Escaping affect: How motivated emotion regulation creates insensitivity to mass suffering. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(1), 1–15.
  5. Davidson, R. J., & Harrington, A. (2001). Visions of compassion: Western scientists and Tibetan Buddhists examine human nature. Oxford University Press.
  6. Seppälä, E. M., Simon-Thomas, E., Brown, S. L., Worline, M. C., Cameron, C. D., & Doty, J. R. (2017). The Oxford handbook of compassion science. Oxford University Press.
  7. Post, S. G. (2005). Altruism, happiness, and health: It’s good to be good. International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 12(2), 66–77.
  8. Fredrickson, B. L. (2000). Cultivating positive emotions to optimize health and well-being. Prevention & Treatment, 3(1), 1a.
  9. Kok, B. E., Coffey, K. A., Cohn, M. A., Catalino, L. I., Vacharkulksemsuk, T., Aalbers, L. E., … & Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). How positive emotions build physical health: Perceived positive social connections account for the upward spiral between positive emotions and vagal tone. Psychological Science, 24(7), 1123–1132.
  10. Galante, J., Galante, I., Bekkers, M. J., & Gallacher, J. (2013). Effect of kindness-based meditation on health and well-being: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 81(6), 1107–1114.