Why Argue When You Can Build: Moving Beyond the “I Am Stronger/Better Than You” Mentality

In a world that promotes competition and individual success, it is easy to fall into the trap of the “I am stronger/better than you” mentality. This mindset encourages us to view others as obstacles rather than allies, and it can lead to mental and emotional exhaustion. However, there is a better way to approach life that focuses on collaboration and building together rather than tearing each other down. In this article, we will explore why arguing is not always the best approach and offer strategies for moving beyond the “I am stronger/better than you” mentality.

Understanding the “I Am Stronger/Better Than You” Mentality

The “I am stronger/better than you” mentality is a competitive mindset that values individual success above all else. It encourages people to compare themselves to others and to strive to be better than those around them. Although this mindset can lead to some short-term advantages, such as a boost in self-esteem or a sense of accomplishment, it is ultimately damaging to our relationships with others and our overall well-being.

One of the main problems with the “I am stronger/better than you” mentality is that it sets up a false dichotomy between success and failure. People who hold this mindset often view others as their competition rather than as potential collaborators. They may see someone else’s success as their failure, and as a result, they may feel threatened by others’ accomplishments.

Another problem with this mentality is that it can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. People who constantly strive to be better than others may expend a lot of energy trying to maintain their image and to keep up with their competitors. They may also become preoccupied with comparing themselves to others, which can be draining and distracting.

The Problems with Arguing

In contrast to the “I am stronger/better than you” mentality, an approach that focuses on building together can be much more effective and fulfilling. However, this approach requires us to let go of our ego and to be willing to work collaboratively with others. One way to do this is by moving beyond arguing and towards building.

Arguing can be tempting because it allows us to defend our own ideas and to prove ourselves to others. However, it can also be counterproductive because it often leads to a breakdown in communication and a lack of progress. When people argue, they may become defensive, rigid, and resistant to other perspectives. They may feel that they need to protect their own reputation or status, which can lead to a lack of openness and trust.

Furthermore, arguing can create negative emotions and may damage relationships. People who argue may become angry, frustrated, or resentful towards each other. This can lead to a breakdown in trust and cooperation, which can make it difficult to work together in the future.

Strategies for Building Together

If we want to move beyond the “I am stronger/better than you” mentality, we need to be willing to focus on building together rather than arguing. Here are some strategies for doing so:

1. Adopt a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that our abilities can be developed through hard work and dedication. When we adopt a growth mindset, we are more likely to view others as potential collaborators rather than as competitors. We see our own success as something that can be achieved through collaboration and teamwork, rather than through individual achievement.

2. Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves paying attention to what someone is saying and trying to understand their perspective without judgment. When we practice active listening, we are more likely to build empathy and to find common ground with others. This can help us work collaboratively towards shared goals.

3. Focus on Common Goals

When we focus on common goals, we are more likely to work collaboratively towards achieving them. This requires us to let go of our own ego and to be open to others’ ideas and perspectives. By working together towards a shared goal, we can build trust and strengthen our relationships with others.

4. Embrace Diversity

Embracing diversity means being willing to work with people who have different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. This can be challenging, but it can also lead to innovation and growth. When we embrace diversity, we are more likely to find creative solutions to problems and to build stronger relationships with others.

5. Celebrate Success Together

Finally, it is important to celebrate success together. When we achieve a common goal, it is important to acknowledge everyone’s contributions and to celebrate our success as a team. This can help build morale and reinforce the value of collaboration and teamwork.


The “I am stronger/better than you” mentality can lead to competition, exhaustion, and a breakdown in relationships. However, by moving beyond arguing and towards building together, we can create a better world for ourselves and for others. By adopting a growth mindset, practicing active listening, focusing on common goals, embracing diversity, and celebrating success together, we can build strong relationships and achieve great things together. So why argue when we can build? Let’s work together towards a brighter future.


Related Posts

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